Saturday, July 23, 2005

World Stupidity Awards

This sounds like an event worth attending. It is part of the Just for Laughs comedy festival and it’s hosted by one of the funniest and angriest men around, Lewis Black. And it involves my sworn mortal enemy, Ann Coulter. Oh, how I’ve hated her for years and years.

The World Stupidity Awards will be given out Friday in Montreal at the Just for Laughs comedy festival. Here are the nominees:

Stupidest Man of the Year: U.S. Senator John Kerry; Former Ukrainian president Leonid Kuchma; columnist Ann Coulter; NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association director Bob Goodenow (shared); U.S. President George W. Bush

Dumbest Moment of the Year: Ashlee Simpson on SNL; Basketball fight featuring Ron Artest; Prince Harry showing up to party in Nazi suit; Tom Cruise on Oprah; Russell Crowe throwing a phone at somebody's head.

Stupidest Statement of the Year: "Can you handle my truth?" - Britney Spears; "Go (expletive) yourself." - U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney; "Nooooooooooooo" - Darth Vader, in Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith; "They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we." - U.S. President George W. Bush; "That's hot." - Paris Hilton.

Stupidest Movie of the Year: Elektra; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; Alexander; Alien vs Predator; The Pacifier

Stupidest Woman of the Year: Paris Hilton; Ashlee Simpson; Brangelina; The Runaway Bride; Paula Abdul

Stupidest Trend of the Year: Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds; War; Crystal Meth; Seeing the Virgin Mary in toast, hamburgers etc...; Climate Change

Stupidest TV Show of the Year: Britney Spears, Chaotic; Surreal Life; The Simple Life; The Beauty and the Geek; Dr. Phil

Dumbest Government of the Year: Iran; United States of America; Canada; North Korea; The United Nations

Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet: Kim Jong Il, Dictator of North Korea; U.S. President George W. Bush; The Vatican; The Government of Iran; Paris Hilton

Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance: Fox News; CBS News; CNN; Al-Jazeera; Newsweek

Stupidest Award Show of The Year: The Oscars; The Grammys; The Daytime Emmy Awards; The Golden Globes; The World Stupidity Awards